Deep in Denialville
by LadyDiablo
Summary: Harry has fallen badly for someone and we get to see some of what is going through his mind. Who could it be that has captured our hero’s heart?


**Deep in Denialville**

By: LadyDiablo

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Harry Potter do not belong to me, J K Rowling own all the rights.

Summary: Harry has fallen badly for someone and we get to see some of what is going through his mind. Who could it be that has captured our hero's heart?

The song is_Whatever you do! Don't!_by _Shania Twain_

_Deep in Denialville_

_Tryin' a' fight the way I feel_

_I go jello when you smile_

_I start blushin' – my head start rushin'_

I stared at you all through Potions, though that is hardly news. I am not sure if you noticed, I sincerely hope not. I cannot ignore how the vast light in the dungeons catches your hair, or the way you look when you are concentrating on something particular problematic. When you smile, though never directed at me, I almost melt. I know people say that you never smile; only sneer or scowls, but I know better. After observing you as much as I have, you start to notice the small differences in the sneers that mean you are happy.

I tear my eyes away from you, just to look back again in ten seconds. It is always like this and I feel a blush slowly creeping up my neck. You sit through the lessons as if they are nothing; you do not eve have to try in order to get decent marks. In contrast, my parchment is always filled with doodles at the end of a lecture and not a single word of information. It usually ends with me asking my friend for the notes, hoping that she will cut me some slack. Just thinking about you makes my head spin; I have been in this circle for too long.

_If you stand too close to me_

_I might melt down from the heat_

_If ya' look my way one more time_

_I'm gonna go out of my mind_

In Hagrid's class today, we were all ushered into a small clearing at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. Everyone gathered close; whether because they could not see or that they were plain afraid, I did not know. All I know is that you stood very close to me, and your arm brushed against my back. The touch lasted only for a second or two, but the heat was unbearable. I felt my knees go weak and all wobbly, how can you do this to me so easily? You are making me feel all these things and I do not know what to do about them. As much as I try to push them away, they always resurface. For a second I even thought that you looked at me, but it was only my pathetic hope getting ahead of me. My heart foolishly started jumping up and down in my chest, but…nothing. I thought that you finally saw me, but no such luck. You just looked at me like anyone else. You do not have a reason to look at me, well not the reason I want anyway. If you look at me one more time and raise my hopes again, I am going to go out of my mind. Do not do that to me.

_Don't even think about it_

_Don't go and get me started_

_Don't you dare drive me crazy_

_Don't do that to me baby_

You do not know, but deep down inside, you are going to drive me crazy someday. You know, it started a long time ago. I thought I was over it, just a stupid crush, but it keeps coming back. Coming back for more. I do not want you to do that to me, I do not want to be so dependable on someone, it is scary.

_You stop me in my tracks_

_My heart pumpin' to the max_

_I'm such a sucker for your eyes_

_They permanently paralyze_

If you only knew what the sound of your voice does to me, it is like silk. Every word roll off your tongue like it was born or invented somewhere inside you. I keep imagine what it would sound like if you said my name, my heart starts beating faster at the very thought of it. Would it sound strange? Would it sound awful, terrible, beautiful? Just wondering…

Your eyes are something else entirely. I could go on and on about your eyes for hours. Would you believe me if I said, your eyes are a different colour every day? No, probably not. When you are happy or when the sun shines, they are a clear blue or baby blue and when you are angry or sad, they are almost grey. A mixture between grey and blue. If I look into your eyes long enough, I would not notice if the sky turned green.

Even if I do not like this feeling of not being in control at all, I love the feeling of butterflies in my stomach and the whole floating on clouds thing. Please, do not take it away.

_You got my heart under attack_

_You give me shiver down my back_

_D'ya have to walk the way you do?_

_I get weak just watchin' you_

You have captured my heart and I am afraid that I will never get it back. Am I wrong, like always? Will you hold it forever and torture it or will you let it go and break it? The way you move give me shivers down my back. So gracious, like a cat. Maybe you were a cat in a previous life? A tiger; a beautiful but dangerous tiger? If I get too close, will you bite, or will you purr with pleasure? Please, whatever you do…do not do this to me.

The End

Hey! You may recognise this pairing...heh


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